Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Congratulations! We have a period
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
