East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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