By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize