no, he came in my armpit
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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