I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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