Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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