I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize