I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
