We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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