His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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