the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
