Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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