What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
