Sry I called you an 8
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
