Do you still have your period?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
