Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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