i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
