xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
