hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
