I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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