think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
