Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
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Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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