'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
