Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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