This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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