I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
