My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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