Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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