Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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