OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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