drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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