So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
