We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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