so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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