i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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