I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
