Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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