she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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