Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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