I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize