actually, I'm a sock model
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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