"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
