woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
