This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
