Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Randomize