Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
