none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
