i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize