you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize