Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
