All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?