lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.