I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
God, I missed his penis.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
