Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Randomize
