Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
