Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
