Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
