i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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