It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
